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 Firebid Boot

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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Firebid Boot   Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:36 am

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin
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firebid1030
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:38 am

oh okay

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RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:45 am

I'll begin this in the morning since I'm bone tired. First topic is paying attention to detail.

________________________________________________________________

The Avatar was done by Chrissie.

"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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firebid1030
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Bloom Sky
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:38 am

(oh okay i'm back from my hiatus and ready for alina to get some bootcamping and she will be trained by fran and fran will take over her spot that is a better idea than  just having fran replace her i'm better with her not alina)

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RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:50 am

This training goes beyond your OCs Firebid. This training is for you to learn and relearn how to do things correctly. You will learn to pay attention to details, we will rp and you will use proper grammar. We will also make sure you use exposition. You will not be changing details or adding in details to the characters you use here. You must follow their history to the letter. Use what characters you want, since the problem exists with the writer now, not them.

Let us begin this trek shall we?

The Courtyard of Alfea is quiet and the sun shines down upon. There isn't really anything happening out here as of yet. Maybe something will soon.

________________________________________________________________

The Avatar was done by Chrissie.

"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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firebid1030
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 1:01 am

(oh okay now i get it yeah i know how to pay attention to detail i was just alittle rusty i guess but sense alina was the one messed up she will be in the training it makes her and teaching her will be her friend fran

" wake up alina wake up alina" says fran jumping on her

" ah how did i get here my head hurts and let me guess your going to be training me right" says alina looking at fran

" yep pretty much because i know how to pay attention to detail like for example i can use my wings in the air and below the water see" says fran

(fran flys into the air and below the water)

"wow when did you learn this fran" says alina shocked

" oh while you have been on your adventure i have been training that is why i'm so good" says fran explaining herself to alina

" now let me guess your going to be teaching me how to do that right" says alina intrested

" yeah but guess what i'm not going to be easy now you alina i will be hard on you until you get things right here"says fran throwing a necklance

" what is this fran" says alina

" this is for your training your going to learn how to use your wings in the water here and i will not help you but someone else will" explains fran

" now if you excuse me i'm going to ask miss faragonda and see if i can be on this mission you failed now" contuines fran

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RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:12 am

(it doesn't matter which character messed up. You are still in control and thus its you who messed up. And as for your exposition, do not play it in the parenthesis. It looks terrible and makes me think you're trying to be Out of character aka OOC. Plus Alina would not have the necklace still from the adventure.)

Faragonda stands in her office, gazing out the window. There was a small pot of tea on her desk, waiting to be poured into a cup.

(Now for the grammar portion. Use capitals at the beginning of the sentence, capitalize names. Use periods at the end of sentences. Stop using says every single time a character speaks, change it up. Now for an example of what something should like like. "Wow, when did you learn this Fran?" Alina asks in shock. You need to keep your tenses the same as well.)

________________________________________________________________

The Avatar was done by Chrissie.

"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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firebid1030
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:35 am

(oh no Fran gives her a different necklace it's not from the adventure)

(Fran enters Miss Faragonda's office)

( Oh hello Miss Faragonda Fran says)

( so why did Fran just give me this without explaining what i'm going to do with it" Alina thought to herself)walking to the person who Fran assigned her too

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned


Last edited by firebid1030 on Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:22 am; edited 5 times in total
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:43 am

Faragonda doesn't reply since Fran did not state she entered the office. Nor did she use the proper grammar.

________________________________________________________________

The Avatar was done by Chrissie.

"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15610
Age : 27
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:47 am

(oh okay i edited the post atleast four to three times)


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RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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