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 Allura, fairy of gems!

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PostSubject: Allura, fairy of gems!    Wed May 13, 2015 6:46 am

First topic message reminder :

Name: Allura "Allie"

Age: 15

Gender: Female

What Creature Are you?: Fairy

Race: Isis(ian?)

Allegiance: Good

Origins: Magic-user!

Powers: Gems! This is more of a boasting power, more specifically, she toys with Emeralds exclusively.

Spells:
1. High: Glitter blast! (Quick firing of shards of sharp shards of crystal or rocks, depending on what's around! This is more random and sometimes gets out of hand, but it's her favorite attack-This is normally highly effective, since Allie has bad aim, this attack compensates for that by covering more airspace. Amount of time it lasts depends on how much effort is put forth.)
2. Medium: Crystal lift! (literally, throwing rocks and stuff. Allie is pretty good with this one. This can last up to a minute before it needs to be chunked away, or else it will just fall everywhere.)
3. Medium: Treasure guard! (This is usually accomplished through heaving a large piece of Earth upwards, or just a conjured magic-imbued emerald apparition. This can last as long as it needs to, but the longer it's up, the more worn out Allie will be afterwards.)
4. Weak: Emerald gleam! (A blinding light accomplished with a conjured gem and some geometry. This only really works if there's a good amount of light, but it's a great evasive maneuver! )

Appearance:


Strengths: Allie is very nimble and flexible, though she has zero tolerance for running. She also has a great affinity for design. She loves rocks and gems and everything pertaining to the ground, so she has a pretty expansive knowledge of geology! She is also naturally adept. She has a great memory and learns quickly, unless it's something that she doesn't particularly like.

Weaknesses: Not the best with endurance, she tires fairly easily. Also, though she am very optimistic, as soon as failure is a high possibility, Allie tends to give up. Another thing that others often point out is that she has the depth perception of a cyclops, so she has pretty terrible aim which in turn, weakens her projectile attack-effectiveness. In addition, she is insanely clumsy and pretty forgetful. Allie's low tolerance for pain can cause some minor issues, but she can suck it up until it's appropriate to lay on the floor and be dead for awhile. Also, as a fairly new fairy, Allie is a bit behind with magic use, and sometimes completely blanks on how to perform many spells.

Personality: Allie is pretty upbeat and friendly with a pretty swell sense of humor, at least according to Allie. According to many however, she comes off as annoying.  She's a little bit arrogant, but her philosophy is that she should be the best Allie that she can be! I mean, why shouldn't she be? Or maybe it's the fact that Allie wears a crown everywhere and calls herself a princess... That could also be it. She's also a bit snarky, but unless someone truly wrongs her, it's just humor. She is fairly inquisitive and childlike, however this doesn't imply naïvete.

History: Allie was born on Isis, but some slight civil unrest that she's not supposed to talk about caused her family to move to Alartria! Unfortunately, her mom didn't follow, but this is where she met my best friend, Iris, who has art powers! Growing up was reasonably normal for Allie, though! She considers many events notable, but they probably weren't actually at all relevant. Iris got a letter from Alfea, the college for fairies, and through some pestering, Allie was admitted as well! She wasn't AT ALL prepared though, because her mom, who left when she was younger, was the magic-user, while her dad isn't much for it. Allie had to learn a lot, so she feels that she's a little behind the others (even though she isn't). Learning to fly was probably the most stressful part of this process, and Allie finds it hard to just conjure spells. She thinks fairly logically, so she doesn't really understand where they come from, but she's come up with a few during her time at Alfea! Currently, She's a first year fairy at Alfea with Iris.

________________________________________________________________


Hi, my name is Brooke, but you can should CALL ME ROXY   


Last edited by xCanadensis on Thu May 21, 2015 8:44 pm; edited 7 times in total (Reason for editing : Just some editing)
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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Wed May 13, 2015 9:33 pm

You didn't waste our times at all. We just feel better if its 3rd person. I'm also sorry to say this, but Allura has to start at being a first year fairy. She has to start at the beginning like every other oc does. She can however gain charmix in her first year.

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"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Wed May 13, 2015 9:35 pm

Oh! Of course, I'm so sorry! I was having so much trouble finding all of the rules ^^; I'll fix that now

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Wed May 13, 2015 10:30 pm

All the rules are in one spot, but if you need help, just ask. No need to apologize, mistakes happen.

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"But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten—things that require a smaller, more honest soul." Professor Ozpin, RWBY
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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 14, 2015 7:14 am

I wasn't necessarily meaning the rules ^^; I meant like the allowed gems, the powers, the rules all that! I should've been more attentive, I apologize. I love the way this forum is organized, but it'll definitely take some getting used to Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 14, 2015 7:26 am

It's in the rules and guidelines, but we usually give the links anyway.

You already using one of the gems that we allow (emerald) so if you want to use another gem (max of 2) check the link here: http://believeinwinx.forum-motion.com/t3353-allowed-gems

If you decide to change your mind and choose another power, you can look at the power list here: http://believeinwinx.forum-motion.com/t3343-allowed-powers-and-more

More info about how to create a balanced oc, about mary sues/gary stus and other helpful threads, visit this section here: http://believeinwinx.forum-motion.com/f130-creating-an-oc-guides

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 21, 2015 8:33 pm

I've got all of that and read it beforehand. Is there anything that I still need to fix?

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 21, 2015 8:35 pm

She needs more to her personality, add more positive and negative traits.

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 21, 2015 8:37 pm

I can do that c:

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Thu May 21, 2015 8:45 pm

How's that? Smile I'm not sure how to expand further, but I tried xD

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PostSubject: Re: Allura, fairy of gems!    Mon May 25, 2015 1:55 am

Quote :
She also has a great affinity for design.
What kind of design? Fashion? Interior? Exterior? Graphic?


Quote :
She loves rocks and gems and everything pertaining to the ground, so she has a pretty expansive knowledge of geology!
Can you explain about this? I am totally lost.


Quote :
She is also naturally adept.
To what? There are so many natrual elements out there.


Quote :
She has a great memory and learns quickly, unless it's something that she doesn't particularly like.
So, if that's the case, does she still remember what she got taught something that she doesn't like? Since even if she doesn't like something, there is a chance that she has to learn it first.



Quote :
Not the best with endurance, she tires fairly easily.
Ok, I'm totally lost there.



Quote :
Also, though she am very optimistic, as soon as failure is a high possibility, Allie tends to give up.
Should optimistic be in personality?



Quote :
In addition, she is insanely clumsy and pretty forgetful.
Those are more of personality traits than weaknesses.



Quote :
Allie's low tolerance for pain can cause some minor issues, but she can suck it up until it's appropriate to lay on the floor and be dead for awhile.
There is a problem with that....if someone has a low tolerance of pain, he or she should be screaming than sucking it up and dropping dead like that.



Quote :
Also, as a fairly new fairy, Allie is a bit behind with magic use, and sometimes completely blanks on how to perform many spells.
Some fairies are like that so it's pretty natural for it to happen to fairies, no matter what year they are in.



Quote :
Personality: Allie is pretty upbeat and friendly with a pretty swell sense of humor, at least according to Allie. According to many however, she comes off as annoying.  She's a little bit arrogant, but her philosophy is that she should be the best Allie that she can be! I mean, why shouldn't she be? Or maybe it's the fact that Allie wears a crown everywhere and calls herself a princess... That could also be it. She's also a bit snarky, but unless someone truly wrongs her, it's just humor. She is fairly inquisitive and childlike, however this doesn't imply naïvete.
I hate to say this but its all over the place. I was easily confused about a lot of things, like her calling herself a princess because of a crown, and a lot of clashes of those personality traits. It's not flowing as it should be.



Quote :
History: Allie was born on Isis, but some slight civil unrest that she's not supposed to talk about caused her family to move to Alartria! Unfortunately, her mom didn't follow, but this is where she met my best friend, Iris, who has art powers! Growing up was reasonably normal for Allie, though! She considers many events notable, but they probably weren't actually at all relevant. Iris got a letter from Alfea, the college for fairies, and through some pestering, Allie was admitted as well! She wasn't AT ALL prepared though, because her mom, who left when she was younger, was the magic-user, while her dad isn't much for it. Allie had to learn a lot, so she feels that she's a little behind the others (even though she isn't). Learning to fly was probably the most stressful part of this process, and Allie finds it hard to just conjure spells. She thinks fairly logically, so she doesn't really understand where they come from, but she's come up with a few during her time at Alfea! Currently, She's a first year fairy at Alfea with Iris.
Again, it's all over the place. What happened when she was younger? Why did she get a letter from Alfea? Was is an invitation? Or an acceptance letter? Why did she had to move from Isis? How did her power activate?

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