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 Winx club:The quest for timix

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mcwinx
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Musa Riven
Posts : 1138
Age : 12
Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Winx club:The quest for timix   Sat Jul 04, 2015 1:59 am

This is my very first fanfic please enjoy.
Chapter one:Musas timix
One day at alfea Musa heard someone say she was a bad fairy and Musa had to step up for herself and said to the girl who called her a bad fairy Why do you hate me I never did anything to you and btw im not a bad fairy then the mean fairy said I like to hate people and you didnt save your mom when you had the chance then Musa starts to cry Crying or Very sad she then starts to run to the wishing well and sang return to me then Tecna comes to the wishing well to see Musa Hi Musa wait why are you crying then Musa replys saying a girl said I was a bad fairy then she said something about my mom then Tecna says well ms.faragonda said that theres a new transformation we have to earn called timix by my calcuations all we have to do is fine a very old clock on our home planet then you earn your timix and she also said we can go back in time the Musa says then im gonna go to melody ALONE ok then Tecna says why alone then Musa says because if I do earn my timix im gonna go to the past to see my mom then Tecna says ok then Musa says im gonna call the specilast to see if they can take me to melody then Tecna says bye then Musa the Musa says bye Tecna then she calls the specilasts then Riven picks up the phone then says hey Musa what you doing then Musa replys saying nothing can you and the specilasts take me to melody she asks then Riven replys saying I guess then he tells the other specilasts then they all say ok then Musa says land on alfeas new parking lot ok then Riven says ok then they all head to melody then musa gets off there ship bye she says then the ship is gone she then goes to the clock shop and asks the worker there do you know were I can find the oldest clock she asks then the old worker says of course its right here he gives it to Musa now give me some rubies then Musa says ok *Gives the worker the rubies* then she transforms into timix she then wishes to see her momthen she is teleported to the past and sees her mom after hours of hanging out with her mom she thens says btye to her mom then ishes she was back in the present then shes back in the present THE END of chapter one hope you enjoyed chapter one!!

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Musa Riven
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Age : 12
Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Tue Jul 14, 2015 4:34 pm

Chapter two: Tecnas timix
Cant think of any thing but when I do il edit this and put this chapter at non beta

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winxclubmagi
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Stella Helia
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PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:13 pm

Punctuation is important.
I think u might want to change the way they earn their timix because it seems not that exciting, no offence xD

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Musa Riven
Posts : 1138
Age : 12
Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:52 am

Ok but Musas keeping her way of earning her timix

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aisha238
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Aisha Roy
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Hobbies : HUGE N'SYNC FAN, Crushing SO HARD on Lance Bass, singing, dancing, playing on the computer, watching Power Rangers, and writing music

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:56 am

Try to have a long plot because that's what makes it exciting and making people want more

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Musa Riven
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Age : 12
Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:01 am

First of all I have my own choice I respect your nice changes but please let me make it my way cause I cantwrite alot like u guys cause my fingers will get sore so yeah

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Musa Brandon
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PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:24 am

tbh, I think you need to write it in a word docoument to get the gramma and punctuation sorted.

My other suggestions:
- Make your chapters a bit longer to lay out what really is going on. The plot is great and I can see it, but it's all over the place.
- Take your time writing each chapter. Take as long as you like to get each chapter perfect. I know you stated that your fingers hurt, but that happens if you rush your chapters.
- Don't add emojies into fanfics. Best thing is to describe the emotions.
- See if you can get a beta reader. A Beta Reader is someone who read through your chapters and help you to mix your mistakes. It's not their job to tell you to change your plot or anything like that.
- Write it as a story book. It's hard to explain, but if you read a book and see the layout, you will know what I mean.

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Musa Riven
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Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:48 am

Ok thanks

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Musa Riven
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Age : 12
Location : With Riley and Maya, New York...not
Hobbies : Taking on the world, watching Disney Channel, Listening to Melanie Martinez lol

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:17 pm

Guys im getting better at fanfics Very Happy anyways Tecna's Timix story will be here as soon as I can make it lol

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aisha238
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Aisha Roy
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Hobbies : HUGE N'SYNC FAN, Crushing SO HARD on Lance Bass, singing, dancing, playing on the computer, watching Power Rangers, and writing music

PostSubject: Re: Winx club:The quest for timix   Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:54 pm

Like I said before, separate what you are saying from the story plot

Example: Here's the story a made up

One day, in the planet of Magix

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