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 Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.

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SavannahParodox
Charmix Fairy
Charmix Fairy
avatar

Posts : 164
Age : 16
Location : Arizona
Hobbies : Reading and playing music

PostSubject: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sat May 07, 2016 7:50 pm

My Great-Aunt left me a box. Not a fortune or any of her exquisite jewelry. Just a box. It was not even a very exciting box, but it was clearly labeled: For Savannah Paradox. And if that wasn’t strange enough, I didn’t receive it till my fourteenth birthday.

Well, the saying is that “Congratulations on turning 14! Everything starts now.”

Great-Aunt was, by all accounts, an extraordinary woman. She owned a guesthouse in the country with 10 acres of garden and an orchard.

I was only 5 years-old when they last visited, when dad disappeared although dad I only got a key he gave me, only a few pictures remain. Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle were very happy there. Shortly after he died, however, she disappeared and was not heard of again. That was back in 2004.

I sat in the old house ¬– the old house in Louisiana Great-Aunt owned, my mother got ownership over it – with the small wooden box in my hands, wondering what to make of it. It had no hinges and did not appear to open --- but I should have known to expect the unexpected from Great-Aunt. After a bit of fiddling, I realized that a little compartment opened at the top of the box when I pulled at both ends. The 2 halves fit together amazingly and their joint could barley be seen because it ran with the gain of the wood. When I opened the box I peeked inside, and inside were a few papers and an old-fashioned key, along with a note that said:

Big things come in small boxes!

And that’s when I discovered a secret history about my family – that no-one else knew -- and myself.
-------------------------------
2 years later – August 24th
-------------------------------
Every afternoon I walked through the garden outside, to go to the meadow of the forest and play instruments, as well as to read. I currently live by myself at the house for the summer. On the ground, there are a number of interesting treasures such as pine cones, gumnuts, mossy logs, and a field of red spider lilies. Sometimes colorful butterflies and other flowers, other times there are dragonflies and mayflies, frail and delicate.

As I sit in the meadow I look at the box and on top said:

Diaries, sketches, poetry, and paintings,
Have no magic compared to the magic in haste.
Breath, listen, see, and smell.
For these little creatures are so sneaky.

A beetle flew past, making me turn, I walked towards a slight parting in the grass and there where the grass parted and vines grew upon, was a stone lantern. There are similar lanterns around the place, but they’re in much better condition and mark the garden’s best viewing points, as I come to learn during the weekends and summers.

This one was different however; it looked older, cracked, and crumbling at the edge. I lent against the lantern and opened the box inside and grabbed the first sheet.

‘Foals with wings’ What?

‘Some foals have beautiful gossamer wings. Some have wings like dragonflies, and others like moths or butterflies. I suppose they have been there all alon-’

I stopped reading when I heard a strange noise, getting up I hid the box in the old lantern. I walked toward the noise and at first I heard nothing, then I saw dust like sparkles and there so small yet their all the same where little horses- with wings! The story Auntie told me about and the box, were true? Auntie must have stumbled upon them and befriended them…

~Flashback~

“Savannah”

A little girl about 4 or 5 looked up, “Yes Auntie?”

Rosa Edmiston looked down at Savannah, “Would you like to hear a story”

“Yes Auntie!”

“Magic exists all around, and hidden among the leaves…

~Flashback~


And they were fighting a, quite frankly, red monster-like creatures and behind them a tall yellow thing in a blue overall. I must help them! I will not let Auntie’s friends get hurt, and maybe they can tell me what happened to her.

I grabbed a near-by stick and wacked the monster away, but there were more! I kept batting them away but they just kept coming. I fell to one knee breathing heavily. Dangit I-I can’t protect them. I’m sorry Auntie. I felt shaking fairy foals behind me and then the monsters coming towards me.

I was frozen for a moment before remembering the story Great-Aunt told me. And what the ‘Character’ said. ‘-I must help them!’-the girl said, so she yelled out…’
I can’t believe I’m doing this.

‘-Transform!-‘
“Transform!”


--------------------------
Music echoed around her and within as the world slowly disappeared into a blue background. A slight smile glanced upon her face as she spread her arms out and spun whilst tap dancing. Feeling the familiar energy warm her as violet stanzas wrapped themselves around her- she felt everything change; the energy brimming within her and her clothes being replaced by her fairy outfit.

Posing, she crossed hands above her head as the stanzas wrapped around her chest, the magic solidified into a bright white light before bursting into a light brown leather strapless top the curves behind the back into a v-like shape at the front.

She then spun around showing her back spreading her arms out as the violet magic wrapped around her ankles up to her waist popping into brown suede flare pants that fringe out. As she spun back around, she crossed her left arm going over stomach and lifted her right arm above her; the stanzas wrap around her mid-upper arm a blood-red dripping band tattoo appearing. She moved around as the magic wrapped around her waist a short light brown side-skirt with a fringe trim.

She then tap-danced whilst spinning, twisting her hips from side-to-side as the stanzas wrapped themselves around her waist a short light brown side-skirt with a fringe trim.

Before her very eyes, she watched as the violet stanzas move around wildly before solidifying fading to showing a pair of transparent red wings. Each top wing has a cicada-like design.

In a fit of violet sparkles a light brown neckline trim appeared with fringe underneath it. As a finishing touch, she wiped her hand across her left cheek and up to her ear, a small blue curve line and a slightly bigger and wider line with a dot to its left under her left eye and two native eagle feathers behind her ear.

Finally, the wings spun before resting on her back as she stood with her hip to the side and her arms crossed above her head. She continued down, crossing her arms, as her index and middle fingers created a trail of red sparkles.

--------------------------
‘-She then put her hands in front of herself –‘

~Sound waves!~
“Sound waves!”


As I said that Purple sound waves shoot out and toward the monsters knocking them back and having them disappear. I then punched my fist in the air.

“Yes!”

I turned around when I heard a tiny neighing nose and saw the fairy foals. I kneeled down to them, “Are you okay”

The fairy foals nodded and snuggled up to my face; I wrapped my forearms against them and rubbed my face against them as they licked at my face. “A-hah awww, you’re so fluffy and cute.”

I pushed my face back and asked “Would you like to come to my home?” They nodded and I walked backed to the stone lantern my fairy form disappearing as the fairy foals flew next to my head and a brown one laid down on my shoulders. I picked up the box and headed home and decided to think about it there.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sat on my bed turning my necklace my father got me in my hand, the fairy foals sleeping on a pillow on the foldable table next to my bed. When the gem part of my necklace glowed, I sat up looking at it when a voice that sounded like my father’s spoke.

*Savannah? It’s me your father, listen this is a pre recorded message, I used a magic spell to activate this message when you awakened you powers, and now that you’ve awakened your powers let me tell you how you’re a fairy. I’ve hidden a great secret from your mother and you. I’m a wizard and your mother a fairy but she doesn’t know it, you see a long time ago ….
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We interrupt this Earth fairy explanation to bring you back to your featured program.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And when the Wizards of the back circle returned, they killed your grandmother on your mother’s side and they changed their memories to make everyone think she just left.

The reason your mother’s family on her father’s side lived is because the Wizards of the back circle did not know they were wizard’s as they believed they sealed away all Earth magic with the fairies and they also believed your mother could not have any powers because having one human parent only give a low chance of having powers so they sealed away any powers your mother could achieve.

I wish I could tell you more, but I must go. I love you sweetie. (Crackling off)


I fell back to my bed and turned on my side toward the foals all their heads up, and the littlest brown foal I called little brown, walked up and nuzzled my face and I realized I was crying. I put my hand against little brown and started to hiccup as the other foals landed on and around me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds tweeting, sun shining through the window, ya know cliché openings to mornings. And during a cliché morning I got up waking the foals, but they just dazedly went to the pillow and fell back to sleep, well except Sapphire a light grey-brown foal with a star & strip marking on her forehead with beautiful blue diamond-like butterfly wings with two dark blue with green inside markings. She’s a ‘silent watcher guardian’ kind of foal. I describe the foal but not the room odd… eh whatever, the house is wooden, no posters.

She landed on my shoulder as I walked to the kitchen and started my tea, when the doorbell rang. Who would come all the way here; maybe they didn’t get the memo.

After I cut the crust I put the bread in the toaster and then walked to the door. As I opened the door I looked down and there was a package. Looking around and seeing no one around I picked up the package and walked inside shutting the door with my foot. As I set the package down on the table my tea pot whistled, I got my tea put in the 4 sugars and splash of milk and puttered and jellied my bread I sat down on the blue couch and put the package on my lap.

I used the Swiss army knife my Great-Grandfather gave me to opened the box. Inside were books, at least 5 thick ones, and on top was an envelope, and written on it said From Ms. Faroganda; To Ms. Paradox. I set the box on the table and opened the envelope and took out the letter.
===================================================
ALFEA COLLAGE FOR FAIRIES

Headmistress: Faroganda
(Fairy of nature, Girding Fairy, Chef. Fairy, Company of light)

Dear Savanah Paradox,
I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Alfea College for fairies.

Term begins on 25th of August. I await your arrival, to be taken to Alfea simply use the card with the school on it and focus your magic on it.
Yours sincerely,
                     Headmistress Faroganda

|Card with the picture of Alfea on it|
===================================================
I took the card flipping it in my hand, and then looked back at the letter. A school… For fairies?

I looked up when I saw the rest of the foals as they sat down on the table. “You think I should go?” Seeing them all nodding I decided to go.

After packing my stuff I went outside next to the same old lantern where everything started.

The foals landed on my head and shoulders as I raised the card up to my face focusing…

I felt Fly- a black mustang with dragonfly wings- nudge my head, “What?” He looked at the card then at himself then me. I scrunched my eyebrows together,
“You want me to focus on what I feel about you?” He shook his head and what I believe suggested to the other foals the lantern.

“About the foals yesterday?” He nodded his head up-and-down.

“Alright then” I focused on what I felt yesterday, and when I saw the card glow I threw it to the ground. It grew and it rippled a bit.

I looked at the foals and jumped in.

________________________________________________________________

You Say Hannah Montana I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers I Say Skillet
You Say One Direction I Say Evanescence
You Say Zac Efron I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron
You say Justin Bieber, I would have knocked you out You Say Rap I Say Rock
You Say I’m Weird I Say Thank you

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper."


Last edited by SavannahParodox on Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:21 am; edited 3 times in total
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Varda Elentari
Contest Winner
Contest Winner
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Flora Helia
Posts : 1393
Age : 22
Location : Serenity <3
Hobbies : Writing, Biologying, Fairying

PostSubject: Re: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sat May 07, 2016 10:26 pm

Hey Savannah!

I was reading your story and I think you've done a great, you certainly have knack for writing which I think could grow to be absolutely brilliant with practice! You actually conjured several really nice images and gave us a good feel for the character in that opening piece.

As a fellow writer though, I would possibly say that it the piece would be easier to follow with a little more structure to it. It can get a little confusing with the many flashbacks and information being drawn from all these different points in time so I would certainly advise you to collect it a little better. I'd suggest perhaps finding someone to proofread your work to help you with that?

I look forwards to your next piece of writing ^-^

________________________________________________________________


Thanks to Lexi for the amazing art of Nimueh and to John for the beautiful signature <3 <3
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SavannahParodox
Charmix Fairy
Charmix Fairy
avatar

Posts : 164
Age : 16
Location : Arizona
Hobbies : Reading and playing music

PostSubject: Re: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sat May 07, 2016 10:29 pm

Thanks for the review. It actually started when I was making my OC but just ended up by making a story. And the moderators suggested I put it here.

________________________________________________________________

You Say Hannah Montana I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers I Say Skillet
You Say One Direction I Say Evanescence
You Say Zac Efron I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron
You say Justin Bieber, I would have knocked you out You Say Rap I Say Rock
You Say I’m Weird I Say Thank you

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper."
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Varda Elentari
Contest Winner
Contest Winner
avatar

Flora Helia
Posts : 1393
Age : 22
Location : Serenity <3
Hobbies : Writing, Biologying, Fairying

PostSubject: Re: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sat May 07, 2016 11:23 pm

No problem ^-^ As I said, I think with adequate practice, there's a lot of room for improvement so I do hope you carry on writing! And once again I would recommend finding someone to go over your work to help you grow into a much better writer Smile

________________________________________________________________


Thanks to Lexi for the amazing art of Nimueh and to John for the beautiful signature <3 <3
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SavannahParodox
Charmix Fairy
Charmix Fairy
avatar

Posts : 164
Age : 16
Location : Arizona
Hobbies : Reading and playing music

PostSubject: Re: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sat May 07, 2016 11:26 pm

How about you, Im trying to make a transformation sequence to describe her fairy form.

________________________________________________________________

You Say Hannah Montana I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers I Say Skillet
You Say One Direction I Say Evanescence
You Say Zac Efron I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron
You say Justin Bieber, I would have knocked you out You Say Rap I Say Rock
You Say I’m Weird I Say Thank you

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper."
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Varda Elentari
Contest Winner
Contest Winner
avatar

Flora Helia
Posts : 1393
Age : 22
Location : Serenity <3
Hobbies : Writing, Biologying, Fairying

PostSubject: Re: Savannah Parodox and the Fairy Foals.   Sun May 08, 2016 12:04 am

I may not be around all that much but sure, send me a PM and I can try and help you out as much as I can ^-^

________________________________________________________________


Thanks to Lexi for the amazing art of Nimueh and to John for the beautiful signature <3 <3
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