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 Alina Fairy Of Water

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AuthorMessage
firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Alina Fairy Of Water   Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:34 am

First topic message reminder :

name: Alina

age: 16

gender: female

what creature are you: fairy

race: Andros

allegiance: Good

origin: magic user

powers: Water

appearance: she has short brown hair with a hair clip on the side of her head, she has brown eyes, for casual clothes she has a blue top with a blue skirt and black boots that zip up and unzip, for her fairy form her wings are blue with bubble designs on them, her boots change from black to blue, her skirt stays the same blue, her hair goes into a ponytail and she has short black gloves since she is just a basic fairy

strengths: her powers are stronger near the water and surrounded other elements, She make friends easily with help She can cook meals with the help of friends, She loves to be around people she knows she can control her powers in any climate.

weakness: the fear of crowded places like bathrooms mall restaurants and other places, not getting enough sleep, She doesn't like to make friends with bad guys, She is bad at controlling her temper.  

personality: she is shy  she likes her space and is friendly when you get to know her and being private about her history, she is nerdy, she can be clumsy sometimes not all the times, she can be hotheaded sometimes when she doesn't get her way, she is very sassy with people, she can be poetic when she was to.

history: Alina was born in a cave by two fairies who were magicians to the planet Earth. She was kidnapped by a dark wizard named Dark soul who was one of the magicians on Earth when she was a kid because Dark soul killed his partner when she was in the cave. He keep her from finding out he lied to her and told her he want to a different traveling circus  She learned how to use the key spell when she was bored in Dark soul's castle and unlocked every door in the castle when Dark soul was gone because she know every room in the castle sense she was bored. One day Alina was unlocked a secret door that said keep out she was just so bored she want to see what was in there when she opened the door to her horror she saw Dark soul's body in a casket with his soul drained dry.So she decided to run away from the evil man and run away to andros where a nice andros ringmaster told her he could tell her she could join the magix's traveling circus meaning he would go all of the magic dimesion. She learned she had bubble powers when she was playing with a seal and she saved the seals live when it was going to get eaten by a wild shark that get loosen from his cage because he was one of the traveling circus mans pet sharks What makes Alina tick is evil animals hurting other animals and others.She is special because she is the only fairy to have the bubble powers. She ended up learning about the magix universe thanks to Aisha one of the Winx club members and Alina meet her when on Earth when they were performing. When she was older she lived on Andros and she is still traveling with the circus and the circus ringmaster and his animals but he doesn't use sharks anymore because Alina doesn't like them. She meet Fran when she was ten years old when she was performing in an act in the traveling circus she performed in but she almost died thanks to a plant that was unleashed by one of the lynphea circus performer and Fran saved Alina from it meaning Alina owns Fran her live. She decided to go to Alfea after one of her friend Francine told her about it. She is now a student at Alfea but she does visit Andros and the man who is the ringmaster of the traveling circus when she is on vacation or go to Earth to watch Aisha perform with the Winx club band.

spells: Water key this spell unlocks doors low
          Water shield it shields her from enemies attacks  and evil sea animals for at least 10 to 5 minutes high
          water blast it unleash bubbles on her enemies medium
          water healer it only heals her and sea animals for 10 to 5 seconds  low
         water barrier it protects the people around her and the sea animals for at least 8 to 5 minutes medium
         water drainer it takes all the bubbles and gets her ready for her bubble blast it takes at least 5  seconds  to active low  
         water slash this attack paralyzes all her enemies in a fifteen to twenty radius for 5 minutes high
          water burst this attack throws a lot of bubbles at her enemies for at least  5 seconds low

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned


Last edited by firebid1030 on Sun Apr 09, 2017 5:25 am; edited 97 times in total
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AuthorMessage
yukai5
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
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Musa Brandon
Posts : 5333
Age : 26
Location : New Zealand

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:06 am

Ok, instead of putting all the problems, please put this in it's place. I know I told you not to copy and paste back in boot, but just this once (and ONLY once), we are allowing you copy and paste this sentence. And it has to be exactly this one here.

She is a reliable person in many aspects of life because she helps her friends a lot on many situations.

________________________________________________________________

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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:43 pm

@yukai5 wrote:
Ok, instead of putting all the problems, please put this in it's place. I know I told you not to copy and paste back in boot, but just this once (and ONLY once), we are allowing you copy and paste this sentence. And it has to be exactly this one here.

She is a reliable person in many aspects of life because she helps her friends a lot on many situations.

mmmm oh okay i did it

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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http://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
yukai5
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
avatar

Musa Brandon
Posts : 5333
Age : 26
Location : New Zealand

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:32 am

Time to have another look as a whole


Quote :
strengths: potions and making friends and her powers are stronger near the water her powers are strong when she is around wind fairies,She is a reliable person in many aspects of life because she helps her friends a lot on many situations
Making friends and and being strong around wind fairies are not strengths. Can you please replace them with suitable strengths?


Quote :
weakness: math,Her powers are weak when around fairies who can absorb magic, Agoraphobia the fear of crowded areas like bathrooms mall restaurants and other places, not getting enough sleeping insomnia lack of sleep, her powers are weak around ice and snow fairies, her powers are weak around earth and fire fairies, she never wants to lose her friend Fran because she owns her a life debt to her for saving her life
Sorry, but everyone has that fear of loosing their powers so can you please remove that? Also, the amount of weakness makes the oc really unbalanced. Please match both strenghs and weaknesses by either taking weaknesses out or adding more strengths in.


Quote :
personality: she is shy  she likes her space and is friendly when you get to know her liking boys and being private about her history, she loves ocean animals, she hates witches and dark fairies,she loves to swim, she loves flower fairies, she loves all of her friends, she hates sports, she hates mall because she is afraid she would get lost, she hates being hotheaded, she loves sleeping, she doesn't like to be lonely, she loves to play with ocean animals, She loves Earth animals too, she loves English reading and writing, she doesn't like to be sticky or icky, she is reliable friend because she will drop what she is doing and help them with it like for example one of the girls has a problem with a boyfriend she will help if they have are in trouble she will help even with school work she will help but not math it's her weakness
This cries out for a rewrite. Now listen really carefully. What I'm about to quote, you can keep in her personality. The rest you have to chuck out and restart.


Quote :
"she is shy  she likes her space"
Quote :
"and is friendly when you get to know her"
Quote :
"and being private about her history"
Quote :
"she is reliable friend because she will drop what she is doing and help them with it like for example one of the girls has a problem with a boyfriend she will help if they have are in trouble she will help even with school work she will help but not math it's her weakness"


Next section.

Quote :
history: Alina was born in a cave by two fairies who were magicians to the planet Earth. She was kidnapped by a dark wizard named Dark soul when she was a kid because Dark soul killed her parents when she was in the cave. He keep her unlocked away from the world and don't want her to find her parents. She learned how to use the key spell when she was trapped into tower and unlocked every door in the tower when Dark soul was gone because she know every room in the tower sense she was trapped into because the wizard kill her parents.She learned she had bubble powers when she was playing with a seal and she saved the seals live when it was going to get eaten by a shark. What makes Alina tick is evil villains hurting animals and others.She is special because she is the only fairy to have the bubble powers. She ended up learning about the magix universe thanks to Aisha one of the winx club members and Alina meet her when on Earth when they were performing. When she was older she used a bubble key spell she had to unlock the door and she was shocked and surprised that she unlocked the door. So she ran away from Andros and lived on Earth for awhile because she would watch the winx club perform when they were in town and also she was hiding from Dark soul too. She meet Fran when she was ten years old. She decided to go to alfea after one of her friend Francine told her about it. She is now a student at Alfea.
First Part: If Dark Soul killed her parents, why is he locking her so she doesn't find them? They're already dead and she knows it, so fix that. Also, how does she learn the key spell while she was locked inside? Also no, she was locked in a tower, she can't know the other rooms. Why did she unlock every other room anyway? For fun?
Second Part: Then when she escaped from the wizard, he didn't try to track her back? When did she saves the seals' lives from a shark, and where? How, when, and why did she go to Gardenia?
Third Part: What door did she unlock with her bubble powers? She was already in Earth so HOW did she end up on Andros to escape to Earth? How did she go to Alfea? How did she support herself with no parents?

It's good, but it's a bit out of place. Can you please rearrange the second and third part so it can flow better? Thanks.




Quote :
bubble key this spell unlocks doors 15 to 5 minutes high
bubble shield it shields her from enemies attacks  and evil sea animals for at least 10 to 5 minutes high
bubble blast it unleash bubbles on her enemies 5 to 10 miuntes medium
bubble healer it only heals her and sea animals for 10 to 5 seconds  low
bubble barrier it protects the people around her and the sea animals for at least 8 to 5 minutes medium
bubble drainer it takes all the bubbles and gets her ready for her bubble blast it takes aleast 5 seconds  to active low  
bubble slash this attack paralyzes all her enemies for 5 seconds  medium
bubble burst this attack throws a lot of bubbles at her enemies for atleast  5 seconds low
They all need to be expanded a bit on on how it really works. But was also make a comment on two of the spells seperatly
Bubble Key: This spell is more of the low level and shouldn't have a time limit.
Bubble Slash: What is the radius of this spell? Add that in and it will be fine.

________________________________________________________________

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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
avatar

Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Thu Jul 02, 2015 4:58 am

@yukai5 wrote:
Time to have another look as a whole


Quote :
strengths: potions and making friends and her powers are stronger near the water her powers are strong when she is around wind fairies,She is a reliable person in many aspects of life because she helps her friends a lot on many situations
Making friends and and being strong around wind fairies are not strengths. Can you please replace them with suitable strengths?


Quote :
weakness: math,Her powers are weak when around fairies who can absorb magic, Agoraphobia the fear of crowded areas like bathrooms mall restaurants and other places, not getting enough sleeping insomnia lack of sleep, her powers are weak around ice and snow fairies, her powers are weak around earth and fire fairies, she never wants to lose her friend Fran because she owns her a life debt to her for saving her life
Sorry, but everyone has that fear of loosing their powers so can you please remove that? Also, the amount of weakness makes the oc really unbalanced. Please match both strenghs and weaknesses by either taking weaknesses out or adding more strengths in.


Quote :
personality: she is shy  she likes her space and is friendly when you get to know her liking boys and being private about her history, she loves ocean animals, she hates witches and dark fairies,she loves to swim, she loves flower fairies, she loves all of her friends, she hates sports, she hates mall because she is afraid she would get lost, she hates being hotheaded, she loves sleeping, she doesn't like to be lonely, she loves to play with ocean animals, She loves Earth animals too, she loves English reading and writing, she doesn't like to be sticky or icky, she is reliable friend because she will drop what she is doing and help them with it like for example one of the girls has a problem with a boyfriend she will help if they have are in trouble she will help even with school work she will help but not math it's her weakness
This cries out for a rewrite. Now listen really carefully. What I'm about to quote, you can keep in her personality. The rest you have to chuck out and restart.


Quote :
"she is shy  she likes her space"
Quote :
"and is friendly when you get to know her"
Quote :
"and being private about her history"
Quote :
"she is reliable friend because she will drop what she is doing and help them with it like for example one of the girls has a problem with a boyfriend she will help if they have are in trouble she will help even with school work she will help but not math it's her weakness"


Next section.

Quote :
history: Alina was born in a cave by two fairies who were magicians to the planet Earth. She was kidnapped by a dark wizard named Dark soul when she was a kid because Dark soul killed her parents when she was in the cave. He keep her unlocked away from the world and don't want her to find her parents. She learned how to use the key spell when she was trapped into tower and unlocked every door in the tower when Dark soul was gone because she know every room in the tower sense she was trapped into because the wizard kill her parents.She learned she had bubble powers when she was playing with a seal and she saved the seals live when it was going to get eaten by a shark. What makes Alina tick is evil villains hurting animals and others.She is special because she is the only fairy to have the bubble powers. She ended up learning about the magix universe thanks to Aisha one of the winx club members and Alina meet her when on Earth when they were performing. When she was older she used a bubble key spell she had to unlock the door and she was shocked and surprised that she unlocked the door. So she ran away from Andros and lived on Earth for awhile because she would watch the winx club perform when they were in town and also she was hiding from Dark soul too. She meet Fran when she was ten years old. She decided to go to alfea after one of her friend Francine told her about it. She is now a student at Alfea.
First Part: If Dark Soul killed her parents, why is he locking her so she doesn't find them? They're already dead and she knows it, so fix that. Also, how does she learn the key spell while she was locked inside? Also no, she was locked in a tower, she can't know the other rooms. Why did she unlock every other room anyway? For fun?
Second Part: Then when she escaped from the wizard, he didn't try to track her back? When did she saves the seals' lives from a shark, and where? How, when, and why did she go to Gardenia?
Third Part: What door did she unlock with her bubble powers? She was already in Earth so HOW did she end up on Andros to escape to Earth? How did she go to Alfea? How did she support herself with no parents?

It's good, but it's a bit out of place. Can you please rearrange the second and third part so it can flow better? Thanks.




Quote :
bubble key this spell unlocks doors 15 to 5 minutes high
bubble shield it shields her from enemies attacks  and evil sea animals for at least 10 to 5 minutes high
bubble blast it unleash bubbles on her enemies 5 to 10 miuntes medium
bubble healer it only heals her and sea animals for 10 to 5 seconds  low
bubble barrier it protects the people around her and the sea animals for at least 8 to 5 minutes medium
bubble drainer it takes all the bubbles and gets her ready for her bubble blast it takes aleast 5 seconds  to active low  
bubble slash this attack paralyzes all her enemies for 5 seconds  medium
bubble burst this attack throws a lot of bubbles at her enemies for atleast  5 seconds low
They all need to be expanded a bit on on how it really works. But was also make a comment on two of the spells seperatly
Bubble Key: This spell is more of the low level and shouldn't have a time limit.
Bubble Slash: What is the radius of this spell? Add that in and it will be fine.

done i changed up alittle bit of her history and stuff oh and yes i will add in that dark soul is still looking for her if you want me to do it for the future half

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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yukai5
Sirenix Fairy
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Musa Brandon
Posts : 5333
Age : 26
Location : New Zealand

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Thu Jul 02, 2015 5:28 am

Um....being sacrastic isn't a strength, its a personality trait....

________________________________________________________________

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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Thu Jul 02, 2015 1:24 pm

@yukai5 wrote:
Um....being sacrastic isn't a strength, its a personality trait....

oh okay i put that with her personality and replaced that with good strengths and weaknesses

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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http://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
yukai5
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
avatar

Musa Brandon
Posts : 5333
Age : 26
Location : New Zealand

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:31 pm

Can you please stop putting personality traits and her likes/dislikes in strengths and weaknesses? Because loving the cold/not seeing snow/doesn't like hot weather are personality traits/likes and dislikes.

________________________________________________________________

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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:13 am

@yukai5 wrote:
Can you please stop putting personality traits and her likes/dislikes in strengths and weaknesses? Because loving the cold/not seeing snow/doesn't like hot weather are personality traits/likes and dislikes.
oh sorry i get rid of them and changed them

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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http://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
yukai5
Sirenix Fairy
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Musa Brandon
Posts : 5333
Age : 26
Location : New Zealand

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:15 am

Plants aren't a strength at all unless the strength is gardening.

________________________________________________________________

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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
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Bloom Sky
Posts : 15598
Age : 25
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working playing on computer/phone watch tv hanging with friends and family

PostSubject: Re: Alina Fairy Of Water   Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:22 am

@yukai5 wrote:
Plants aren't a strength at all unless the strength is gardening.

oh yeah that is what i needed to put down thanks

________________________________________________________________

RAWR bloom fairy of the dragon flame and when you play with fire you get burned
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